Weight Loss Week Four

Weigh in: 282.4
> - 1 lb

Ok. So one pound down.  I'll take it.  It's better than a gain!

If I'm being completely honest, I'm still having a hard time not feeling discouraged.  I've been working really hard, and I thought at my size the weight would come off faster.  I guess, in some ways it proves to me that I wasn't eating so terribly before.  I used to second guess my diagnosis.  Thinking that my size had more to do with my diet than my hormones.  Evidently, that's not the case. And, a part of me already knew that.  See, for years I dieted.  I tried quite a few.  For example:

*Atkins - worked for about a month, then stalled and never worked for me again. I only lost maybe 5-10 pounds.  Then nothing. Plus the first two weeks were murder without milk!  

*Diet Pills and appetite suppressants - Not a good idea.  I don't have much of an appetite to begin with.  I honestly don't know what hunger feels like, because I don't feel it.  I just eat whenever I'm supposed to eat according to the time of day, or when someone tells me I need to.  With these types of pills, I wouldn't eat all day.  Just the thought of eating made me sick to my stomach.  I remember taking Slimquick, and I would go a couple days just drinking water because I would actually forget to eat.  So unhealthy.  And, still it didn't work.  No significant amount of weight lost.

*Slim Fast - Didn't lose a single pound.  Not even one.

*Nutrisystem - the food literally tasted like cardboard.  I was not a fan.  And it was the only food I really had in the house since I was living by myself.  The only thing I would buy was fresh fruits, veggies, and water.  I would choke down about half the meal, none of the "snacks" and that was it.  Less than 900 calories a day.  Lost maybe a total of 10 pounds over a few months.  But it was still not healthy for me.  And it was too expensive.  My family had offered to pay for this program, because they wanted to help.  I still felt guilty over how much it was, and the fact that I had so many left over snacks because I didn't like them.

At one point, I even went to my doctor and asked for a referral to see a specialist.  He sent me to a Gastroenterology center to see a dietician and a nutritionist.  The first appointment, they asked me to keep a food diary of everything I ate for one month.  I did.  I recorded everything, down to a half a stick of gum I had to freshen my breath after lunch.  They told me not to tally up the calories.  They were just trying to get a baseline for what I typically ate.  They assured me that they would tally up the calories themselves when I came back.  Sure enough, they did.  And they said I wasn't eating enough!  They were also concerned that my metabolism was too low.  Maybe I was deficient in B vitamins.  So, they gave me a B12 shot.  It was supposed to give me energy.  It didn't.  It knocked me out for three days.  I was so tired I could barely move.  I followed their diet and exercise plan.  Even going so far as to do MORE exercise than they recommended.  I walked to the gym, worked out for at least an hour, and walked home six days a week.  On the seventh day, I went for at least a 2-3 mile walk.  I had people who did this with me, though they ate whatever they wanted.  And they lost quite a bit of weight.  When I went back to the center, I had gained weight.  Roughly 20 pounds if memory serves.  They were floored and accused me of lying in my food journal. Luckily, I wasn't alone. I had brought the person who had been with me every day!  He knew I wasn't lying. Eventually they believed me, but they couldn't figure out what was wrong.  They told me to keep trying.  I was so hurt by their disbelief, I never went back.

So there was my proof.  Eating less than 900 calories a day, working out 7 days a week, and still nothing.  But it wasn't enough for doctors to believe me.  I knew nothing about my thyroid.  I didn't even know our bodies had a thyroid!  Now, it's different.  I know what it is, and what it does.  I know mine is damaged.  I know that I will need medication for the rest of my life.  It's not the end of the world.  But that doesn't make it any less frustrating.  

Note: This blog isn't to meant to put down any of these diets or weight loss products.  If they worked for someone else, I think that's great!  I know several people who have had success with each of them.  They just didn't work for me personally.  

On the positive side, I did push myself this week to take a longer walk than I have in years.  It wasn't the easiest thing.  And boy did I pay for it later!  The pain is excruciating.  But, I did it.  

I'm hoping to see my doctor soon.  I haven't received news about the blood test I had last week.  But I do need to speak with him about my Fibromyalgia symptoms.  I feel they are getting in the way of my work outs and I'm wondering if there is any way I can alleviate some of their severity with a multi-vitamin.  That sounds silly when I see it typed out.  But, that's what doctors are for, right?  To answer questions about our health, no matter how silly.

Another week down.  A pound less than my starting weight. Again, it's something. :)

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