It's only been 3 months??

It's been so long since I've written a blog, and SO MUCH has changed, my head is spinning!

My last blog was March 11th.  So only 3 months ago, and yet I feel as though a whole year has gone by.  Forgive me if I'm a little lost for words.  I read over my last blog.  It was short.  A short update on my weight loss plateau and the little things going on in our life at that time.  Who could have known what was about to happen?  In the weeks following my last blog, the world changed.  And I don't just mean MY world.  THE WHOLE WORLD CHANGED!

QUARANTINE!!!

Suddenly, I wasn't focused on my weight loss.  My entire focus became keeping my family safe, and healthy.  Trying to make the best out of being cooped up in our home.  Part of me was relieved.  I struggle with anxiety and I have struggled with agoraphobia in the past.  This is something I have always wished I could do.  Stay home.  Not have to go anywhere.  Or be around anyone other than my loved ones.  But, I also knew that was giving in to my anxieties, and it would be that much harder to leave the house once the quarantine ended.  Still, I had to try to make the best of it.  My daughter loved school, and her friends.  She's very social and loves to be outside.  This was going to be much harder for her.  So I concentrated on making it fun.  We played games, watched movies, made cupcakes.  We worked on school work in unconventional ways.  That's the beauty of having a first grader.  We taught her Math skills while we were cooking or playing Barbies.  We taught her English skills through funny voices while we read her stories.  We sang songs about spelling and painted for art. Her teacher kept in touch with us everyday, and hosted Zoom meetings to help.

My fiance and I had just begun to plan our wedding.  We wanted a long engagement.  Time to really enjoy being engaged.  Sometimes I think it's not fully appreciated.  From what I'm told, wedding planning can get pretty hectic.  Once you start planning, it's a whirlwind of crazy until you're standing next to each other, reciting your vows, wondering how you got there and whether that bridesmaid was supposed to wear "blush" or "bashful".  We both wanted to take some time to enjoy being able to say, "That's my fiance."  After all, we have the rest of our lives to say "my husband/ my wife."  But, my birthday this year marks 2 years from the day he asked me to marry him.  We'd already decided on the basic colors and theme.  We knew who we wanted to have in the wedding party.  We had an idea of what we wanted to do.  It was time to figure out a date and start getting into the details.  And wouldn't you know, just as the bridesmaids were asking me what shade of blue to look for, and what color heels to go with it, QUARANTINE!  Wedding venues closed!  Vendors closed!  Other weddings forced to postpone to an undetermined date!  Thank goodness we hadn't planned earlier!  We decided this would just give us time to plan all the details that really matter to us, and we could start locking down venues, vendors and the rest when quarantine ended.  We would just be that much more prepared!

AND THEN...

To our surprise, on April 10th, we found out I'm pregnant!  It's earlier than we planned.  But a very welcome surprise.  Our daughter is absolutely giddy!  As are we!  She has been asking for a baby brother or sister for so long.  We already have names picked out.  And predictions on who the baby will look like.  It's been a joy in the midst of all the chaos.

When we first found out, I didn't know how to work the news into the blog.  Clearly, my journey was about to take a drastic change.  Though, looking back, it already had.  I wasn't watching my diet or keeping track of my calories.  I had very little exercise never leaving the house.  My sleep schedule was a mess, and there was a bottled water shortage!  Even the tap water in our home was off, due to construction around our complex.  Once the test came up positive, the plan wasn't just about my health anymore.  It was about the health of my baby.  Immediately I stopped taking my fibromyalgia medications, because it was unsafe for the baby.  The withdrawals were intense.  My first doctor's appointment was April 15th.  Roughly a month since my last weigh in for the blog.  I came in at 265 lbs.  I had gained 10 pounds since quarantine started.  At only 4 weeks, I knew I couldn't blame the pregnancy for that weight.  So I refocused my diet.  I started following the diet I was on during the third trimester of my first pregnancy.  A diet that caters to gestational diabetes.  I am counting carbohydrate servings, and balancing with protein.  Staying away from sugars as well as trying to stay away from the foods that are dangerous to pregnant women.  Who knew you could have daydreams about cold turkey sandwiches and soft cheeses?  I stepped on the scale about a week after my doctor's appointment, only to find the battery was dead.  Someone, I won't name names, stored it under the bathroom sink with something heavy on top of it.  We have yet to replace it.  To be honest, it's probably a blessing in disguise.  NO pregnant woman should stress about a weekly weigh in.  I have a feeling I would begin to obsess.  At my second doctor's appointment, I was 10 weeks along and I weighed in at 270 lbs.  A five pound gain in 6 weeks.  When I spoke to my doctor about it, he wasn't worried.  Especially when my daughter and I were able to hear a very fast, VERY strong heartbeat at that appointment.  

Today, I am 13 weeks along, and officially in my second trimester.  Which is why I finally decided to write this blog.  The first trimester was WILDLY different from my first pregnancy.  With my daughter, I didn't have morning sickness until the first day of trimester 2.  This baby has decided to make his/her presence known from before the test showed positive!  That's actually one of the reasons we decided to take the test.  I had symptoms that I hadn't experienced except during my first pregnancy.  Such as, chicken tasting like fish. Waking up several times in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.  And a nausea that wouldn't ever really amount to anything, but never really went away either.  The medication withdrawal added migraines and light/sound sensitivity.  Not to mention, the fibromyalgia that had been suppressed through the medication, came back with a vengeance.  Once the withdrawal was over, the migraines decided to continue their visits from time to time.  It was definitely not one of the easiest times, physically.  As we've approached the second trimester, it has seemed to taper off a smidge.  

   

I will admit, I don't know how often I will be updating this blog throughout this pregnancy.  Our family is still experiencing a bit of a rollercoaster. Though, out of respect, I won't be going into detail about all of it.  It's just not my place.   And as for the world, well, as we all know, the Covid-19 crisis isn't the only historical moment we are witnessing.  I struggle with feeling selfish and insensitive, to be posting about something I want to celebrate when so many are suffering.  From my loved ones, to total strangers.  But, I don't want to ignore the blog completely.  These are memories of my journey.  Memories I want to share.  So, we'll play it by ear.  Or maybe by milestone?  We'll figure it out as time goes on.  If 2020 has taught us anything, it's that you can't always plan for what happens next!

Until next time!